Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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