ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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