i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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