just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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