I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
