you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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