So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize