I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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