i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
