We won't sleep together?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize