I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
A bitchslap is in order.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
