so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
