i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
