just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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