I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
