i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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