Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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