If i come over, it means nothing
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize