trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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