Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize