Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
