I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
