The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
