That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
