so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
