saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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