and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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