I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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