I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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