thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize