I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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