I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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