my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
