It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
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i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
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I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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