Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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