So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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