bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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