his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
