OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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