I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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