She is in my trunk
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm really busy with my period
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