brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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