Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize