If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
should my penis look like a turkey
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
