Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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