Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
