coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
