I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
