So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I came so hard my ears popped.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize