how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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