This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
