I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
