I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
