I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
