areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Me. At least after what I've been through.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
