Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
