Non-Jews are for practice
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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