I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
