I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
no more duck duck goose at the bar
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
