I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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