There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
